How to Know if you Have Weak Emotional Boundaries
Having emotional boundaries that are weak can be a difficult issue for several reasons. One problem for people whose emotional boundaries are weak is that it is difficult for them to recognize that they have them in the first place. At Premier Life Coaching, we use neurolinguistic programming to help our clients to recognize problems in their thinking and behavioral patterns that can be corrected. For people who have weak emotional boundaries, NLP techniques can help them to strengthen their boundaries so that they can achieve their personal and professional goals.
Your emotional boundaries can set the foundation for your relationships and were first formed when you were a very young child. For most people, their emotional boundaries are formed when they are somewhere around three or four. These initial boundaries remain until people are old enough to question the realities within which they operate, which normally doesn’t happen until people reach their early 30s if at all.
What are emotional boundaries?
Your emotional boundaries define the ways in which you are separate from others. They are the lines that you have that keep your feelings and thoughts separate from the feelings and thoughts of others. If you have trouble understanding where you should draw these lines, you will also have difficulty in your relationships and with your emotions.
Signs that you might have weak emotional boundaries
Finding out whether your boundaries are too weak involves you learning the signs and understanding the reasons that they occur. An emotional boundary cannot be physically seen itself, but the results can be experienced and are observable. Some of the signs that your emotional boundaries are weak might include the following:
- Being easily overwhelmed
- Experiencing social anxiety
- Approval-seeking behaviors
- Being narcissistic
If you are easily overwhelmed, it can happen because you might not have an innate understanding of where to draw the lines between yourself and others in the area of emotional responsibility. You might be someone who accepts responsibility for the emotions of others when you are not and should not be responsible. In most cases, it is possible to manage your emotions in a more effective way without becoming overwhelmed if you are clear about when to take responsibility and when you should not do so.
A common response of people who have weak emotional boundaries is to feel that everyone is looking at them or thinking about them whenever they enter social situations. You might believe that you know exactly what others are thinking about you and the judgments that they are making. These types of patterns can lead you to experience debilitating social anxiety. Believing that you know how others think and feel is an indicator that you have an emotional boundary problem.
Another indicator that your emotional boundaries are weak is the need to seek the approval of others. This problem arises when you are not able to distinguish the emotions that you can control from the emotions of others, which you can’t control. You might then try to win them over by being obsequious or trying to cast yourself in a favorable light. If you are always craving approval, it can take control over your life in a negative way. This problem means that you are not able to separate your personal self-worth from what you imagine that others think about you, motivating you to try to impress them.
Social anxiety and approval-seeking both arise out of a rejection attachment, which is triggered when you unconsciously seek rejection from other people. When you are socially anxious and believe that others are rejecting you from the beginning, you are rejecting yourself. When you seek approval because you are afraid of rejection, you are inviting it. While this isn’t something that you are consciously aware of, the end result of rejection demonstrates the need for you to strengthen your emotional boundaries so that you can end your self-sabotaging behaviors.
If you are a narcissist, you are likely unaware of the impact of your behavior on others. This is because narcissistic people have trouble distinguishing themselves from others, making it difficult for them to understand what others might be feeling or experiencing.
Emotional boundaries are among the most confusing issues that most people face. Your boundaries influence every encounter that you have. Recognizing your boundaries and respecting them can help you to build healthy and lasting relationships. Your boundaries can become understandable when you shine a light on yourself, your thinking patterns, and your behaviors.
NLP programming can help you to understand your emotional boundaries and to identify the types of self-sabotaging thinking patterns and behaviors that might be inhibiting you. When you undergo neurolinguistic programming, you can strengthen your emotional boundaries so that you can enjoy better relationships and a healthier, happier life. To learn more, schedule a consultation with Premier Life Coaching today by filling out our online contact form or calling us.