How to Know if you Have Weak Emotional Boundaries

How to Know if you Have Weak Emotional Boundaries

Having emotional boundaries that are weak can be a difficult issue for several reasons. One problem for people whose emotional boundaries are weak is that it is difficult for them to recognize that they have them in the first place. At Premier Life Coaching, we use neurolinguistic programming to help our clients to recognize problems in their thinking and behavioral patterns that can be corrected. For people who have weak emotional boundaries, NLP techniques can help them to strengthen their boundaries so that they can achieve their personal and professional goals.

Your emotional boundaries can set the foundation for your relationships and were first formed when you were a very young child. For most people, their emotional boundaries are formed when they are somewhere around three or four. These initial boundaries remain until people are old enough to question the realities within which they operate, which normally doesn’t happen until people reach their early 30s if at all.

What are emotional boundaries?

Your emotional boundaries define the ways in which you are separate from others. They are the lines that you have that keep your feelings and thoughts separate from the feelings and thoughts of others. If you have trouble understanding where you should draw these lines, you will also have difficulty in your relationships and with your emotions.

Signs that you might have weak emotional boundaries

Finding out whether your boundaries are too weak involves you learning the signs and understanding the reasons that they occur. An emotional boundary cannot be physically seen itself, but the results can be experienced and are observable. Some of the signs that your emotional boundaries are weak might include the following:

  • Being easily overwhelmed
  • Experiencing social anxiety
  • Approval-seeking behaviors
  • Being narcissistic

If you are easily overwhelmed, it can happen because you might not have an innate understanding of where to draw the lines between yourself and others in the area of emotional responsibility. You might be someone who accepts responsibility for the emotions of others when you are not and should not be responsible. In most cases, it is possible to manage your emotions in a more effective way without becoming overwhelmed if you are clear about when to take responsibility and when you should not do so.

A common response of people who have weak emotional boundaries is to feel that everyone is looking at them or thinking about them whenever they enter social situations. You might believe that you know exactly what others are thinking about you and the judgments that they are making. These types of patterns can lead you to experience debilitating social anxiety. Believing that you know how others think and feel is an indicator that you have an emotional boundary problem.

Another indicator that your emotional boundaries are weak is the need to seek the approval of others. This problem arises when you are not able to distinguish the emotions that you can control from the emotions of others, which you can’t control. You might then try to win them over by being obsequious or trying to cast yourself in a favorable light. If you are always craving approval, it can take control over your life in a negative way. This problem means that you are not able to separate your personal self-worth from what you imagine that others think about you, motivating you to try to impress them.

Social anxiety and approval-seeking both arise out of a rejection attachment, which is triggered when you unconsciously seek rejection from other people. When you are socially anxious and believe that others are rejecting you from the beginning, you are rejecting yourself. When you seek approval because you are afraid of rejection, you are inviting it. While this isn’t something that you are consciously aware of, the end result of rejection demonstrates the need for you to strengthen your emotional boundaries so that you can end your self-sabotaging behaviors.

If you are a narcissist, you are likely unaware of the impact of your behavior on others. This is because narcissistic people have trouble distinguishing themselves from others, making it difficult for them to understand what others might be feeling or experiencing.

Emotional boundaries are among the most confusing issues that most people face. Your boundaries influence every encounter that you have. Recognizing your boundaries and respecting them can help you to build healthy and lasting relationships. Your boundaries can become understandable when you shine a light on yourself, your thinking patterns, and your behaviors.

NLP programming can help you to understand your emotional boundaries and to identify the types of self-sabotaging thinking patterns and behaviors that might be inhibiting you. When you undergo neurolinguistic programming, you can strengthen your emotional boundaries so that you can enjoy better relationships and a healthier, happier life. To learn more, schedule a consultation with Premier Life Coaching today by filling out our online contact form or calling us.

How to Make Better Decisions using the NLP Decision Making Strategy

How to Make Better Decisions using the NLP Decision Making Strategy

If you are like many others, you may have trouble making good decisions consistently. It is possible for you to learn how to make great decisions nearly all of the time with neuro-linguistic programming techniques. One of these techniques is called the NLP decision making strategy. When you learn how to use it, you can make better decisions that can improve your life. At Premier Life Coaching, we can give you the skills that you need to improve your decision-making abilities and your life.

Recognizing reality

Some people have trouble when they are presented with a decision because they forget to be practical while recognizing reality. For example, they might purchase a car that costs more than they can realistically afford and then struggle to make the car payment and insurance payment every month. In the car-buying situation, they might fail to negotiate prices and might get swept up in the excitement, paying far more than they should. They might ignore what their needs really are and give in to impulsivity instead.

If you have this problem, you can help yourself to make better purchasing decisions by starting out with a written plan. You can write down scenarios in advance and how you will react to them. You can set a limit and make yourself stay within your budget instead of allowing yourself to be pushed out of it by a skillful salesperson. The best way to put an end to patterns of poor decision-making is to utilize the NLP decision-making strategy.

What is the NLP decision-making strategy?

The NLP-decision making strategy incorporate three of your senses into the process of your decision making, including your visual sense, auditory sense, and kinesthetic sense. When you incorporate these senses into the decisions that you make, you are likely to make better choices.

Going back to the car purchasing example, think about what it is that you do first when you are making a decision about a vehicle and what your initial consideration might be. Identify whether that first action appeals to your visual, auditory, or kinesthetic sense. Then, think about the second thing that you do. Ask yourself whether it appeals to your visual, auditory, or kinesthetic sense. Finally, you will want to think about whether there is anything about the car that appeals to the remaining of the three senses. If you can’t identify anything, you will then want to work on bringing that third sense into your process of making a decision.

You can then write a list of requirements that should be met by a car before you agree to purchase it. If a car doesn’t meet all of the items on your list, you can simply walk away. In the car-buying scenario, this can provide a way for you to find the car that will meet your needs the best.

This technique is not limited to purchasing vehicles, of course. Everyone has weaknesses that lead them to make bad decisions. Your particular weak area might be anything such as poor motivation, eating, times when you are faced with a difficult decision, or arguments. When you use the NLP decision-making strategy and incorporate your visual, auditory, and kinesthetic senses into the way in which you make decisions, the decisions that you make may be better because you will have integrated more of yourself with your thinking process.

Other NLP techniques

In addition to the NLP decision-making strategy, there are a number of other NLP techniques that might be helpful to help you make better decisions while gaining the skills that you need to be more successful. NLP techniques are effective in helping people tackle a number of areas, including weight loss, smoking, career advancement, happiness, and better relationships.

When you come to Premier Life Coaching, we will use the NLP techniques that we identify as being the likeliest to give you the successful results that you want. We use a variety of different NLP techniques to help our clients to get more out of their lives.

Contact Premier NLP Life Coaching today

At Premier Life Coaching, we use neurolinguistic programming techniques to help you to change the ways in which you think and act so that you can accomplish your goals. This system is highly effective and can help you to change the trajectory of your life in much less time than other therapeutic approaches. By using NLP techniques, you can enjoy positive changes in a matter of weeks instead of spending years doing slow work with a therapist. To learn more about the benefits of the NLP decision-making strategy and other techniques that might help you to reach your goals, call Premier Life Coaching today for a consultation.

How NLP Modeling Is Different

How NLP Modeling Is Different

Whether you want to change something small or large in your life, or you simply want to become more successful at your job or in your relationships, neuro-linguistic programming can provide the way for you to achieve your goals. One technique of neuro-linguistic programming that is highly effective is NLP modeling. This technique is different than other forms of modeling and can help you to achieve your goals quickly. At Premier Life Coaching, you can work together with your life coach using NLP modeling techniques to transform your life. Here is what is unique about NLP modeling.

How NLP modeling is different

NLP modeling can be very rewarding. When you were a child, you utilized skills of behavioral learning that aided you in developing your initial abilities. If you are like most people, you likely lost touch with those innate skills as you grew older. NLP modeling can help you to regain access so that you can use those behavioral learning skills again to accomplish nearly anything that you want.

It might be possible to use modeling with groups. Researchers commonly profile groups and collect demographic or psychographic information in order to get a picture of how they work and what makes them tick. However, the profiling of groups has little to do with NLP modeling.

The idea behind NLP modeling is to identify a person who has been highly successful at something. You then observe that person in order to identify their characteristics and choices. NLP modeling encourages you to imitate the types of actions and characteristics of successful people so that you can attain a similar level of success in your chosen endeavor. Once an NLP life coach has been able to determine what differences a highly successful person has, he or she is able to teach those skills and abilities to others.

What is the key?

In traditional learning methods, people add one skill at a time. They work until they master a single skill before they add the next step. In NLP modeling, you instead start by looking at all of the elements of the successful person’s behavior. You then take away steps one at a time until you are left with what is actually necessary.

This helps NLP modeling to be an effective strategy for accelerated learning. With this technique, you can regain the same types of skills that you enjoyed when you were a young child. You already have the ability to complete your goals within yourself. You can learn how to access those skills by modeling the thoughts, behaviors, and actions of others who have already become highly successful.

NLP modeling takes the best of achievement and breaks it down so that it is digestible and shareable. The process can allow you to achieve the types of results that you want in a much shorter period of time. Rather than spending years working with a therapist, you have the ability to use NLP techniques to achieve greater happiness and higher levels of success within a few weeks or months.

When you observe others and copy the methods that they use to achieve successful results, you are able to test different approaches to see what works for you. The testing portion is essential. By testing the different approaches, you can make adjustments so that you can quickly realize gains. Modeling the behavior and strategies of an exceptional person can help you to make adjustments in your own thought patterns and assimilate some of what you learn into your personal belief structure and approach.

This can also help you to gain a better understanding of your own patterns of behavior so that you can successfully model the best parts of yourself while minimizing the negative attributes of your thinking and behavior.

NLP modeling can help you to change your internal map so that your perception of the world becomes more positive. When you have a more positive unconscious view of yourself and of the world around you, you are much likelier to achieve the successful outcomes that you are seeking.

Other approaches spend too much time asking why questions rather than how. By focusing on how someone does things in order to be successful, you can learn to adopt those strategies yourself so that you can also enjoy improvements in your life.

Contact Premier NLP Life Coaching

At Premier NLP Life Coaching, we are able to help people achieve their life goals in a broad variety of areas. We use NLP modeling and other NLP techniques to help our clients to become the types of high-achieving people that they have always dreamed of becoming. To learn more about NLP modeling and how it might work for you, contact Premier Life Coaching today by filling out our contact form.

Understanding your Mind - Conscious and Unconscious Processing

Understanding your Mind – Conscious and Unconscious Processing

Your conscious and your unconscious mind both play an outsized role in the choices that you make and in whether you are able to achieve your goals. One of the goals of neuro-linguistic programming is to unpack these concepts and show you how to use your knowledge of both to effect positive change. At Premier Life Coaching, we have helped many people to get in touch with their conscious and unconscious minds and to change their thinking patterns so that they are able to be more successful.

In many cases, people try to get control over their problems with their conscious minds without including their unconscious minds when they try to make a change. This is a mistake that should be corrected. The change will be lasting if you are able to involve your unconscious mind.

Your conscious mind

Your conscious mind does not have as many processing abilities as your unconscious mind does. It is dominated by partitions that have to do with language. Your conscious mind is a representation of the internal map that you are able to consciously access.

Your conscious mind may have a running commentary about events as they happen and to derive meaning from the text that you read. It works in a logical manner and prefers things that make sense to you.

Your unconscious mind

Your subconscious mind works in the background and includes everything of which you are not consciously aware. It understands everything about the system that makes up you. Compared to your conscious mind, your unconscious mind has great abilities to process information and absorbs millions of pieces of sensory data from your nervous system every second. All of your past experiences are contained in your unconscious mind. Your habits, feelings, and sensations are the ways in which your unconscious mind is able to express itself. It contains a huge potential for change.

The six-step reframe

People who are trained in neuro-linguistic programming are able to use a process called the six-step reframe to change their unconscious minds. You can work with an involuntary signal from your unconscious mind such as pain together with intention. Your body has a terrific ability to heal. When you are able to communicate well with your unconscious mind, you can access its ability to heal.

You can work with your unconscious mind in multiple ways, including metaphors, involuntary signals, hypnosis, behavioral tasks, metaphors, and dreams. When you use these or other processes, you can engage your unconscious mind while also working with your conscious mind. You can think about your conscious mind as your organizer and your unconscious mind as your provider. Your conscious mind asks your unconscious mind for the resources that it needs to create your experiences in a specific context. When the communication from your conscious mind is clear, your unconscious mind will then deliver the resources that have been requested.

The conscious and unconscious minds are simply labels for different processes that happen in your nervous system. When you establish good communication between these different processes, it will be easier for you to solve problems and to create different and better experiences.

Your nervous system

There are two primary components of your nervous system, including the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. Your CNS is made up of all of the networks of your spinal cord and brain. Your PNS includes the nerves that extend outward from your CNS to enervate the other parts of your body.

Neural cells, called neurons, communicate with each other. Neurons in your CNS communicate with neurons in your PNS through electrochemical signaling. Likewise, communication occurs in the reverse. Your thoughts are experienced in both your brain and in your body, and the sensations that you feel in your body are communicated to your brain.

Many modern psychological approaches place more emphasis on your conscious mind and its thinking processes while failing to incorporate the importance of your unconscious mind. Approaching problems by emphasizing thinking through them is not very effective because doing so ignores the role of your unconscious mind.

Your work in neuro-linguistic programming can teach you methods that you can use to improve the communication between your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. When you improve your ability to communicate between your two minds, you can make the changes that you want. NLP is an effective method to help you to make positive changes in a much quicker and lasting way than traditional therapeutic approaches. To get started on your journey, contact PremierLife Coaching today by filling out our contact form.

The Difference Between Anchors and Triggers

The Difference Between Anchors and Triggers

Two common concepts in neurolinguistic programming are anchors and triggers. Understanding what both of these concepts are can help you on your path to achieving your goals. Both anchors and triggers are conditioning patterns that can help you to address your thinking patterns and behaviors in a way that can help you to adopt more successful strategies. At Premier NLP Life Coaching, we can teach you these and other NLP techniques to help you to get the most out of your life. We’re going to provide you with a model of how anchors and triggers might work for you. You might initially think of anchors as something that you can use to control your own state by using specific triggers. Here is an exploration of the meaning of anchors in more depth and how they can be distinguished from triggers.


Anchors are different things that can bring forth certain feelings and thoughts. They are stimuli that can bring back memories of earlier events. For example, some people might hear an old song and be brought back to a time when they were young.

A stimulus can occur in any one of your senses, including kinesthetic, auditory, gustatory, visual, or olfactory. These stimuli are things that can bring back earlier memories both good and bad.

If you find yourself in a particularly happy state that you would like to revisit in the future, you can choose something that can bring it back. This can be anything from tapping your foot a certain number times or whatever might work for you. You’ll want to trigger it several times so that you can condition the response. Later, test the anchor that you have chosen to see if you return to the previous state.

You are also able to anchor others. If you find someone who is in a certain state, you can create an anchor for him or her by giving him or her a certain look. Let the person move out of that state and then do it again to see what happens.


Triggers work in a similar way as anchors. However, triggers recall behaviors instead of feelings or thoughts. For example, when you hear a certain commercial, it might trigger you to drive to a restaurant and order a meal. Thoughts of a specific situation might lead you to bite your nails. Like anchors, triggers can also be implanted on purpose.

How to use anchors and triggers

Anchors and triggers are powerful in your life, and you’ll hear about them frequently in neuro-linguistic programming. Nearly anything can serve as an anchor or trigger. It is important for you to understand how you can use them in your life in a positive way.

Negative anchors and triggers

Anchors and triggers can be positive or negative. For example, when you encounter someone who you believe is acting in a patronizing manner, it might serve as an anchor for anger for you. If someone tailgates you in traffic, you might immediately feel angry or scared. Triggers can also be negative. For example, if you have an upcoming test, you might react by smoking a cigarette.

The key to understanding anchors and triggers is that they do not involve any rational thought and are instant. Because of the importance of anchors and triggers in your ability to enjoy a happy life, NLP practitioners work to help you to extinguish negative anchors and triggers while you also will acquire new, positive ones.

Negative anchors are instant, are unconscious, and are immune to positive thinking. This means that you need to use techniques to defuse your negative anchors before they happen. You can do this by identifying the triggers that occur frequently and defusing them before they can occur again.

When you recognize that your mood has worsened, think back to when your mood was positive. Then, work forward to find the point at which your mood changed. That point in time is where you will discover the negative anchor. You can then use an NLP technique such as the swish technique to defuse it. This can help you to remove some of its power over you.

Build positive anchors

In addition to defusing negative anchors, start to build positive anchors in the way in which we previously described. Whenever you feel particularly happy, create an anchor that can help you to recall that state. With practice, you can bring back happy memories so that you can increase your overall happiness.

Contact Premier NLP Life Coaching

At Premier Life Coaching, you can explore your own anchors and triggers and learn to build new positive ones. You can work with our personal certified life coach using NLP techniques to help to increase your happiness and your self-confidence so that you can become more successful. To learn more, schedule a consultation by calling us today.

Beating the Winter Blues

Beating the Winter Blues

During the winter months, the weather presents some unique challenges to your body. In winter, it is common to deal with additional fatigue because of reduced exposure to sunlight. People may also gain weight because of winter eating habits, and your metabolism might slow since you will have fewer outdoor activities in which to participate. You might also have to contend with the flu, colds, and other viruses during the winter months.

If you are interested in personal development and neuro-linguistic programming, it is likely that you are more in tune with your body and your mind. You might have strategies in place to make certain that you can enjoy winter without viruses or the weather affecting your mental or physical health. Humans have more choices with their ability to resist external influences. Neuro-linguistic programming at Premier Life Coaching can help you to overcome the external factors that might be bringing you down during the winter.

Understanding the nervous system

Every person has a nervous system that is unique. You also have an immune system that can fight off microorganisms and a lymphatic system that helps to flush out toxins from your body. These natural systems continuously work to take care of you. Your natural ability to heal is contained within your unconscious mind. NLP can help to engage your unconscious mind and the processes that are connected to your lymphatic and immune systems to help you to stay healthy or to heal faster.

Long ago, people used the winter months to rest and renew themselves. Ancient cultures didn’t have electricity or heating systems. They relied on their labor during the warmer months to sow and harvest crops and hunt so that they had enough food to sustain themselves during the winter. Today, we don’t face these pressures. However, we are still able to use the winter to optimize our health and to recharge our minds. Here are some tips for increasing your winter health.

1. Remain positive

Some people dislike bad weather and dark evening times during the winter. If you complain about these types of things, it can only worsen your mood. Choose to be happy and recognize that there are people who have a lot more to worry about than the weather or early darkness.

2. Stay active

Your body has a positive reaction to exercise. When you remain active, your brain will reduce endorphins that help you to remain positive.

3. Venture outdoors

Getting fresh air is important. Take walks outside every day while you can. This can invigorate you and get you away from the stale air indoors.

4. Eat better

During the winter, your body tends to crave unhealthy food. This is a biological drive to eat food to help to store fat. Avoid these cravings and choose healthy foods.

5. Get enough vitamin D

During the winter when you have less exposure to the sun, you may not get enough vitamin D. You can choose to eat foods such as vitamin D-fortified milk, herring, mackerel, sardines, and salmon. You can also take a vitamin D supplement during the winter.

6. Listen to your body

Take time to listen to your body by using a biofeedback system to communicate with your unconscious mind. This can help you to heal more quickly if you catch a viral infection such as the flu or a cold.

7. Get enough rest

Winter is a great time for you to establish healthy sleep habits. People do not get enough sleep. Go to bed at a good time every night so that you wake up refreshed in the morning.

8. Feed your mind

You can spend the evenings to learn new things. If you take the time to learn new things during the evening, you will feel a sense of achievement.

9. Tackle something on your bucket list

If you decide to check something off of your bucket list during the winter, it can help to boost your sense of well-being.

Enjoy relaxing

Meditation is a great way to help you to relax. If you spend some periods of time to connect with your self, it can have a positive impact on how you feel.

During the winter, staying inside and doing nothing except watching television can cause you to feel stagnated, causing the winter blues. You can choose to instead have a happy winter.

Contact Premier NLP Life Coaching

It is possible to overcome seasonal depression so you can enjoy a truly happy winter with improvements in your mental and physical wellbeing during the colder months. At Premier NLP Life Coaching, we can help you to get in touch with your unconscious mind so that you can find your personal happiness. Fill out our contact form to schedule a consultation.